I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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