i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
