YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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