I CAN MOONWALK!
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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