after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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