Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
