1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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