He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
