I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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