Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
