I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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