She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
He is an equal opportunity slut.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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