do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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