Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize