I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
