I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
