don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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