so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
