What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
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