i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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