apparently the secret to your success is patron
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
