That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize
