Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
