So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
