im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
She announced her abortion via fbk
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
