It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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