i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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