Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
