well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I need to sanitize my soul.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Randomize