Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize