Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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