Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
