I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
