He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We talked him into tasing himself.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
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