i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
