She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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