I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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