Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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