Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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