M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
