yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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