party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
