Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
