You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
