I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize