He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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