I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
