Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
My ass is underappreciated
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
