I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We had sex on a dog bed..
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
