then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
