Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
