Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
