I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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