Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
