I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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