Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
