YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
