Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Randomize